Paul Ryan's Phony Marathon Claim

In 1988, I had been running for about 8 months, and I let myself get talked into running  this little race called the Bohemian Alps Endurance Run, in Brainard, Nebraska.  The run included both a 5k and a 25K run, as well as a 2 mile walk.  Since I wasn't in shape and hadn't ever run more than about 10K, I decided it was a good idea to run the 25K (15.5 miles).

The day of the run was unseasonably warm for October - it was 91 degrees when we started at about 3:00.  The race ran from Brainard on the gravel roads, looping around over some nasty hills.  I quickly got to the back of the pack, then got to the very last spot.  The last half of the race was spent with people driving up and asking me, "Are you all right?".  One guy said, "Oh my god - you look awful!"  I persevered, and finished long after everyone else was done, escorted in by a couple of my friends.  I made it, and got the finisher's medal.  I also gained the wisdom to run the 5k the following year!

The next year, I ran the 5K, got done in about a half hour, drank a beer, ate some barbecue, and waited for my friends who were running the longer race to finish.  Among those in our group was "Tom", a friend of a friend, who hadn't been running much, but thought he could do the long race.  I was quite surprised to see Tom cross the finish line before any of my friends - some of whom were serious runners.  Tom finished so fast that he got a medal for finishing first or second in his age group.  After the award ceremony, I walked up to congratulate him.  He said, "Thanks, but I didn't run the whole race.  I got tired, so I cut across country, walked some, and jogged through the finish."  It turns out, he ran about half the distance required of the other runners!

Even without training, Tom was a faster runner than me.  I didn't have a problem with him taking the shortcut - 15 miles is a long way, and there's no shame in bailing out on that.  The problem I had was, he crossed the finish line, accepted the finisher's medal, and even accepted the age group award - an award that others worked really hard to try to win.  Tom is a cheater, and I wouldn't want to associate myself with him.

 In the years following my Bohemian Alps run, I ran a couple of marathons.   I don't have a marathoner's body, but I worked hard and was able to finish both of them - at the back of the pack.  My best time was just under 5 hours - I believe it was 4:58, but I could be off by a minute or so.  I was, however, definitely under 5 hours.  I'm absolutely positive that I was nowhere near 4 hours - there's no question in my mind on that point.

A story recently surfaced about Republican VP candidate Paul Ryan's claim to have run a sub 3 hour marathon.  The folks at Runner's World Magazine decided to look it up - turns out his actual time was 4:01 - quite a difference!  A four hour marathon is nothing to be ashamed of, but it's not elite.  The folks that break 180 minutes are special - they train very hard, and have some natural ability.  The difference between a sub-three hour marathon and a four hour marathon is like the difference between playing on your slow pitch softball team and playing major league baseball. It's a whole different ball game.

After he was caught in the lie, Ryan said he "forgot" his time, so he was just trying to make up a "normal marathon time".  This doesn't ring true to me - if you've put yourself through the agony of finishing a marathon, you KNOW how long it took.  Most of us are ready and willing to give you a mile-by-mile recap of our experience. 

My last marathon (trust me, it IS the last one I'll run) was in 1991 (Ryan ran the same race a year before me).  I don't remember everything from that year, but I distinctly remember that day - starting by the Metro dome, running from Minneapolis to Saint Paul.  I remember the "broken wall" display at the 20 mile mark.  I remember running with a woman who's foot was bloody from a blister.  I remember dying at about 20 miles, meeting my friend who came back to run the last couple of miles in with me.  I remember running the last 1.2 miles in under 10 minutes, to hit my goal of sub-five hours.  There's no alternate universe in which I ran 3:45.  I remember!

I'm not ashamed of my marathon time.  I'm not fast, but so what?  I was tough enough to keep running for 5 hours!  I'm not embarrassed by that.  If you ran a lot faster, good for you!  I have great admiration for people who can run faster than me, but I'm not going to lie so you think I'm something I'm not.  I don't cheat on my golf score either....

In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter how long Paul Ryan took to run 26.2 miles.  His lie is harmless - he's certainly not hurting anyone by it.  The issue I have with it is this:  what does it say about the guy if he lies about something like this?  Is this really something worth lying about?  If you can't tell the truth about your marathon time, what else would you be willing to lie about?  Would you, for example, lie to get yourself elected vice president of the United States?  I don't like Ryan's stand on the issues, but I like him even less as a person.  I've had enough of lying politicians - we don't need to put one a heartbeat away from the presidency.